Category Archives: eric

I miss my dad

dad Dad 2


My dad passed away Tuesday, February 9th.  I wasn’t ready to talk about it on here before now.  I just miss him so, so much.

I was at my normal Tuesday noon spin class.  I don’t normally put my phone at the bottom of my bike but I did that day.  We got off the bike about 35 minutes into class to do some arm work.  When I was about to get back on my bike, I noticed that I had three missed calls, two from my mom and one from Eric.  I immediately had that feeling, that bad feeling when you know something isn’t right.  I left the spin room and listened to Eric’s message first.  His message said, “Your dad collapsed and it doesn’t look good.  Go home now.”  I called him back and he said was already on the way to their house and asked if I wanted him to come get me.”  I said no, grabbed my stuff, and drove over to my parents’ house, crying the entire way.

My mom usually works in the morning.  She didn’t go in that day because she had an eye appointment for her future cataract surgery.  She said that she and my dad went to it together and had a nice morning together.  He said he felt a little funny but they just thought that maybe it was anxiety or something.  They got home and my mom walked into the house.  She then heard a loud noise.  She went to the garage, saw that my dad had collapsed, and called 911.  They had her check to see if he was breathing (I think she thought he was a little bit at that time).  EMS got there quickly and did CPR on him.  Our neighbors, the Mayers, were there with her.  Eric was randomly doing training out by their house and he beat me there.  I got there next, and then my brother, Billy.  It was pretty awful watching them work on my dad.  They had this machine that did the CPR compressions for them.  It felt like forever before they decided to transport him to the hospital.  My mom rode in the ambulance with him and I rode with Billy behind them.  Eric and the Mayers stayed behind to make sure everything was shut.

When we got to the hospital, they took us to a little room to wait in.  Sarah (Billy’s wife), Eric, the Mayers, and Mary (Eric’s mom), were there with us.  After working on my dad for almost an hour, they took us back to see him while the nurses lined up in a train to do CPR on him and they tried pushing different medications to get his heart to start.  We just held his hand through it all.  I think the doctor wanted us to see how hard they were working on him to no avail.  He talked to us about discontinuing CPR.  I refused to make that decision so my mom and Billy had to make that tough call.  I just couldn’t do it.  They stepped out to talk the doctor and I stayed in the room to continue holding his hand.  They stopped CPR and my dad passed away at 2:45pm.  A priest from Holy Trinity came over to give my dad his last rites and we were able to stay with him for a while to tell him good-bye.  It just didn’t feel real when we left the hospital without him.

It was awful telling the boys.  Just awful.  Our friends had taken them home from school for us so we waited to tell them until we got home.  I think we went back to my mom’s house after that.  Is it horrible that I don’t remember?  It seems like everything just kind of ran together after that.  The next few days consisted of making plans while family came into town.  My dad didn’t like a lot of fuss so it was fairly easy to pick out his coffin, flowers and service details.  My mom knew which cemetery to bury him in.  Eric’s dad passed away in 2002 from cancer, just six months before we were married.  He was buried in that same cemetery and there was a plot open, just five down from his.  We took it.  My mom wants to be cremated so her remains will eventually be buried above him.  We were so busy that week that I don’t feel like I really had time to process everything until it was over.  I cried a lot and was sad but I don’t think the reality of everything hit me until after the funeral.

My dad never regained consciousness after he collapsed.  I never got to tell him again that I loved him.  Selfishly, I’m sometimes jealous of people whose family members were sick and they were able to savor those last months or days and say their good-byes.  But, I’m also glad he didn’t suffer, and I know in my heart that he knew that he was loved.

I miss my dad.


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Filed under eric, family, kenny, kenny - 6th grade, luke, luke - 3rd grade, me and only me, my boys

2014 in review

I was horrible at getting things on here for 2014.  In an attempt to rectify that, I’m going to share our big events from each month.

January 2014

I started my first of three boot camps for the year.  I.Am.Addicted.

Kenny and Luke played basketball and indoor soccer.

February 2014

Kenny made it to the Mathletic’s regionals and his team placed 2nd out of the 4th graders!

March 2014

We went to Lawrence, KS for St. Patrick’s Day.  I love Lawrence so much.  I love showing the boys the KU campus.

We did not go anywhere for Spring Break because we didn’t want to leave one of our dogs, Camille, alone.  She was diagnosed with cancer of the mouth back in November.

My second boot camp stated after Spring Break.

Both boys started baseball and outdoor soccer.

Ryan Lochte did a clinic for our swim team.

April 2014

I turned 36 and Luke turned 7.

May 2014

Nicole came in town and I got to see her for a little bit.  This was the first time I’ve seen her since her wedding.  It was way overdue.

Luke finished first grade and Kenny finished fourth.

June 2014

Kenny turned 10.

We joined Round Hill Bath and Tennis Club with a lot of friends and had the best summer there.  We will definitely join again next summer.

Kenny and Luke tried out for competitive, year round soccer and made a team.  Kenny stayed with the same team as last year.  This was Luke’s first time to try out.

We put Camille to sleep on June 27, when she was no longer able to get up.  We miss her so much!

June 27 also happened to be our dating anniversary.  Eric took me out on our first date 16 years ago.

July 2014

We spent the 4th of July at Round Hill and then watched Meadowbrook Country Club’s fireworks for the last time.  It closed this fall.

Kenny and Eric went to a Cub Scout camp.  That ended up being the end of Cub Scouts for Kenny.

We took a quick trip to St. Louis.  I saw Nicole (again!), went to the Arch, the zoo and the City Museum.  The City Museum was amazing!

August 2014

Eric turned 35.

We took the boys to their first concert – American Authors, The Script and One Republic at Starlight.

Kenny started fifth grade and Luke started second.

Both boys started outdoor soccer and Luke also played in some fall baseball tournaments.

Luke started Cub Scouts, they both joined their school’s running club and Kenny started Mathletics and choir.

Kenny’s soccer team did their first traveling soccer tournament.  We all drove down to Arkansas for Labor Day weekend.

September 2014

Kenny accidentally shut Mac’s (our dog) tail in the door and severed part of it off.  Our kitchen looked like a crime scene but Mac was tough.

Eric and I went to the Theory of a Deadman concert (Black Stone Cherry opened).

Eric and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary.

I started my third boot camp.

October 2014

Eric and the rest of the SWAT team went to Iowa for a week of training.  They do this just about every year.

I went on my first Sweat Crawl.  Think pub crawl, but instead of drinking you go to different gyms for quick 30 minute workouts.

Kenny and Luke ran the last 1.2 miles of the KC Marathon with their school running club.

The boys dressed up as the Grim Reaper for Halloween.

The Royals made it to the World Series and lost in the seventh game to the Giants.  They had such a good year and it was so fun for the city.

November 2014

Kenny and Luke started indoor soccer and basketball.

Kenny and the rest of the fifth graders had Colonial Day at school.  They dressed up, danced, did activities and even ate food that had to do with that time period.

Thanksgiving was pretty low key since none of our out-of-town relatives came to KC.

December 2014

Mac turned 7.

Luke celebrated the sacrament of Reconciliation at church.

Kenny and the rest of his choir sang at Crown Center.

MythBusters came to KC.  Eric took the boys to see their live show.

Eric and I went to the Black Key’s concert (St. Vincent opened).

Eric became Hattie’s godfather.

We spent Dec. 19-the morning of the 25th with my family and then the evening of Dec 25-Jan 1 with Eric’s family.

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All about my dad

Happy Father’s Day to Eric and my dad!

The kids filled out these ‘All About My Dad’ forms:


By:  Kenny

Age:  10

My dad’s name is:  Eric

He is 6 feet 2 inches tall

He is 34 years old

He weighs 200 pounds

His hair color is:  Brown

His eyes are:  Hazel

His favorite tv show is:  Game of Thrones

He likes to go to:  New Orleans

His favorite food is:  Steak

For fun he likes to:  Workout

His favorite drink is:  Water

My favorite thing about my dad is:  He is funny


By:  Luke

Age:  7

My dad’s name is:  Eric

He is 6 feet 2 inches tall

He is 34 years old

He weights 22 pounds

His hair color is:  Brown

His eyes are:  Green

His favorite tv show is:  House

He likes to go to:  Are (our) sports game

His favorite food is:  Chicken

For fun he likes to:  Go to the bathroom

His favorite drink is:  Dr. Pepper

My favorite thing about my dad is:  He likes to go to the bathroom

They also filled one out for my dad.  I wish I had taken a picture of those before they gave it to him.  I remember they both said that he likes to take them on adventures and one said their favorite thing about him was that he was kind and the other said that he was funny.

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4.5 months

Crap.  It’s been four and a half months since I’ve put anything on here.  I’ll have to go back and post previous things (Cub Scout, soccer, basketball, St. Patrick’s Day, school things, etc) later but until then, here is what is going on:

– Kenny:

Kenny is doing great at school (as always).  We went to EL the other week and were able to see the different things he’s been working on, including acting in a short silent movie, power point, brain teasers and reports.  He plays soccer competitively year round and I just love his coach and the organization (KC Legends).  They are just so good at teaching the boys strategy and skills.  He played basketball this winter and baseball season has already started.  I really wish baseball started in May when soccer is over or at least close to it.

– Luke:

I am absolutely amazed at how well his reading has come and I owe it all to his teacher.  He has come so far and I’m so proud of him.  He played with a Legends soccer team this winter and the team went competitive this spring.  His coach is talking about keeping the team together all next year too.  If not, he’ll tryout for a competitive team this summer.  He played basketball this winter and is playing baseball this spring.  Luke’s 7th birthday is coming up at the end of this month.

– Eric:

He’s still coaching and working his normal job, on top of being the assistant coach for Kenny’s baseball team.  The man is busy.  He’s a little scruffy for work and has people tell him that he looks like Bradley Cooper all the time.  He loves it.

– Me:

Work is going well.  Our swim team and Speedo brought in Ryan Lochte last month.  I’ll do a whole post on that some day.  I have problems with my feet and plantar fasciitis.  My feet actually feel pretty good right now but I still feel it when I’m on them for too long or walk too far.  For example, we went to the zoo during Spring Break and I was hobbling out of bed the next morning.  I started an 8 week bootcamp at Fusion back in January and loved it so much that I’m on #2.  It’s mainly spin related so it doesn’t bother my feet at all.  We can do studio classes too.  They are the hardest classes I’ve ever done but I feel so much stronger and better now.  Fusion is seriously the best place.  It’s a little intimidating at first but everyone there is so nice and encouraging.  I’m addicted.  I’m currently doing their 30 workouts in 30 days April challenge.  We can’t count our bootcamps so that means I’m doing 38 workouts in 30 days.  I’ve done 17 so far (or 23 if you count my bootcamps).  My birthday is on Friday but we’re not celebrating until Saturday because Kenny has a baseball game.

– Mac and Camille:

Mac’s ACL seems fine.  Camille is still hanging on, even though she has cancer.  We didn’t do anywhere over Spring Break because we weren’t sure about how she would be doing at that point.  She does drool more and more on the side of her mouth that has the tumor.  She’s lost 5 pounds since we last took her in back in November.  I swear that her love of the soft, canned dog food that we now buy her is keeping her alive:)

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12 years ago, I was a flight attendant for Northwest Airlines.  12 years ago, I flew into Amsterdam.  12 years ago, after walking around the city, I was picked up by our hotel shuttle and told that the US was under attack.  12 years ago, I watched the footage on the news that showed the planes flying into the Twin Towers and Pentagon.  12 years ago, after a few days, our crew finally flew back to the US without any passengers.  12 years ago, I finally made it back to KC.  12 years ago, Eric met me at the airport and proposed.

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Eric and I went to the ASCA World Clinic (for swim coaches) again.  Last year it was in Las Vegas and this year, it moved to New Orleans.  We had a fun week down there learning, sightseeing, drinking and eating.  We both thought NOLA was much better than Vegas.  Vegas is fun for a weekend, but not for a whole week.

We stayed at the Marriott on Canal Street.  It was a nice hotel (clean rooms, nice workout facility and in a great location).  My only complaint was that you had to pay $14.99 per day for wi-fi.  They did have it free in their lobby but that’s just not the same.

We spent the week mainly walking around the French Quarter:

– Bourbon Street


Flea Market

Saint Louis Cathedral 



Jackson Square

– Ghost tour.  I liked the ghost tour.  The one thing that I don’t really understand is why they act so dramatic during it.  The history and stories are really interesting.  If they stopped acting so cheesy and just told everything normally, I think it would be even better.

– Riverwalk (FYI:  the shops there are closed until 2014)

St. Louis cemetery


– met an Olympian swimmer (Peter Vanderkaay).  Ian Thorpe, aka the Thorpedo, was scheduled to be there too but he hurt his back and had to cancel.  Boo.


Eric really wanted to go to the World War II Museum but we just couldn’t find a good time to go since it closed at 5:00.

Favorite bars:

– Finnegan’s Easy – we watched a lot of games here

Old Absinthe House

Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop

The Funky Pirate – you can listen to Big Al sing the blues

Spirits on Bourbon – fun dueling piano bar

Favorite restaurants:

Cafe du Monde – Has been around since 1862 and has the best beignets.  Yum.

K-Paul’s – Had the best mashed potatoes I’ve ever had and I’m not even a mashed potato person.

Mother’s – Get the Ferdi’s Special po’ boy.  You won’t be disappointed.

Coop’s – This was recommended to our friend from NOLA residents and everybody liked what they had.

I ate way too much fried seafood but it was so, so good.

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We ran down to Hutchinson, KS for a weekend so the boys could FINALLY go to the Cosmosphere.  We tried to go over Spring Break but the weather got really nasty and we had to postpone it.  We got into Hutch around 4:30 and decided to go to the Underground Salt Mine.  I have to tell you, I liked it better than the Cosmosphere.  They take you down 650 feet in an elevator and then you can walk the tour at your own pace.  Along the way, they have videos that you can watch.  They also have two fun rides.  One was a train that took you into the mines more and the other was a tram that did pretty much the same thing (but they were both fun).  I loved the dark elevator ride up and down.





They also store some of the costumes from movies there.  There aren’t a ton there.  The majority are kept close by.



We hit the Cosmosphere the next day, which was Eric’s favorite place on this trip.  We did the all day pass even though we knew we would only be there for four or so hours (we had tickets to an MMA fight in KC that night).  We did get a little bit of a discount since we had been to the Salt Mine the day before (just bring your receipt in).  There is a lot to look at.  A. Ton.  After we saw everything, we all went to see a planetarium show.  After that, Luke and Eric went to a movie and Kenny and I went to Dr. Goddard’s Lab.  Dr. G’s Lab was fantastic.  If you go to the Cosmosphere, make sure you go to it.



(Hurricane simulator)



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